My relationship with my mother has always been very difficult because I destroyed her relationship once. Not with my father. I never knew him, by the way. But when I was 6 years old, she was dating a man. She really loved him and they had big plans for the future. But the thing is, I didn't fit into her fiancé's plans, and he didn't like me at all. On the contrary, he treated me really poorly. He thought I was a very naughty and ill-mannered girl. But what 6-year-old child could be perfect? Or did he think that a child at that age should already be grown-up? Yeah, right and I had a science degree. So I kept saying nasty things to him, and it started to affect their relationship. Soon he got tired of the constant inconvenience in the form of me, and their relationship got worse. Mom tried to keep him, but it didn't work, so he left her. Mom thought I was responsible for their breakup, and she began to treat me badly. My mother said that she had a chance to build a happy future, and that I took it away from her.
The next six years were very difficult. My mother was very cold toward me, and we were more like neighbors than family. I was a child, and I missed being cared for. I wanted to just talk, tell her how I felt, but instead, she just screamed at me and wouldn't even listen. It seemed that she resented me and I could not do anything about it. Imagine how hard it was for a child to live like that. She kept reminding me that it was my fault that we lived in such crappy conditions. I thought that a mother's love was the strongest feeling in the world, and that a mother was always ready to forgive her child for anything. But apparently my mom wasn't like that, and she completely lost interest in me. But when I was 12, I noticed a change in her behavior. She became happier. Not because of me, of course, but something was going on in her life and she didn't want to tell me anything about it. I figured out that she was in a new relationship,One day a man came to pick her up in a luxury car. I thought this might be a chance for us to mend our relationship. I was old enough to understand everything, I wouldn't stop them from dating, and maybe my mom could finally forgive me. But she had other plans.
One night my mother said that we had to have a serious conversation. She told me that her boyfriend proposed to her, and that she had said yes. But before I could be happy, my mother told me the following news. He didn't want me to move in with them, so they agreed that I would stay with my grandmother. At that moment I was surprised and angry at the same time. How could she do this to me? Didn't she have any love left for me, and was she ready to leave me and move in with the first person she met? I started fighting with her and screaming, but there was nothing I could do. My mother had made a decision, and I couldn't sway her.
A few days later I packed my things and moved in with my grandmother. I didn't even attend my mom's wedding. I guess she was happy that she had finally gotten rid of me. Now I lived with my granny, and she had to take care of me. But the thing is, she was pretty old, and it was me who had to take care of her. It wasn't hard, and I really loved her, but the thought that my birth mother had just thrown me into the side and left me. All my hopes for a better life were dashed, and I began to live in terrible poverty. My grandmother's pension was not enough for anything, and life turned into a terrible struggle. We were just trying to survive together, and no one could help us. Even though mom promised to visit us and give me pocket money, she didn't do any of that. Life was complicated, but grandma at least loved me and supported me. Then I figured that my life was in my hands and I that I needed to help myself.
As soon as I got a little older, I started looking for all sorts of part-time jobs. I walked dogs, went shopping for people, ran errands. I didn't earn much, but that money was enough to finally fulfill my dream. I put myself into modeling school. I was very happy that I could finally do it. From that moment on, I worked twice as hard. It took a lot of money to be able to participate in beauty pageants, and it took even more money to help my grandma. The work took all my strength, but now I had a goal to pursue. And I never gave up, despite all the difficulties...
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